Grief and Loss Part 1

Grief and loss have been a hot topic in the clinic recently, so I decided to devote the next two blog posts to discussing the topic.  Loss of something we love is an inevitable part of life.  The flip side of loving something, is losing something.  We take a gamble with our heart each time we open ourselves up to love—whether this be love of a person, a pet, or a job to name a few.  We tend to associate the word “grief” with the loss of a person or pet in our lives; however, the loss of a job whether through termination or retirement can start a grieving process for people as well as having a child leave home for the first time. People talk about grief having “stages” and people needing to go through each stage to appropriately grieve.  There are books devoted to the subject of stages of grief which are easy to find if you are interested in learning more.  Truth is, grief is different for every single person.  In my 7 years of practice, I have yet to find 2 people who have grieved in the same way.  My typical description of grief for people is to view it as a wave.  Some days, it just tickles at the tips of your toes and other days it completely swallows you up.  While there is no “normal” way to grieve, we do view certain experiences as more typical of grief and others are not as typical.  If you find yourself experiencing the symptoms in the “not typical” list, I would encourage you to reach out for help whether that be from a spiritual leader, a behavioral health professional, or a medical professional.

Typical “normal” grief includes emotional, behavioral, and physical changes.

Emotional:

• Shock
• Denial
• Numbness
• Sadness
• Anxiety
• Guilt
• Fear
• Anger
• Irritability

Behavioral:

• Crying unexpectedly
• Sleep changes
• Not eating
• Withdrawing from others
• Restlessness
• Trouble making decisions

Physical:

• Difficulties concentrating
• Exhaustion or fatigue
• Decreased energy
• Memory problems
• Upset stomach
• Pain
• Headaches

Reactions that are not typical and suggest you may need additional help include:

• Attempting to escape grief in ways that can be harmful such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, excessive spending.
• Violence towards self or others
• Thoughts of killing oneself

Tune in to next week’s blog post which will discuss ways to manage grief and resources that can be helpful.

Information adapted from Bereavement, Grief, and Mourning by R. A. Nicholas.