Adventure in Trying a New Self-Care Behavior

I talk a lot about various aspects of self-care with clients, with friends and family, and when giving presentations.  Self-care is different for everyone and can include a wide variety of things. I am pretty darn good at being able to help people find ways to do things that feel good to them and recharge their batteries.  I also try really hard to practice what I preach, so I am focused on engaging in similar activities for myself.  My go-to self-care behaviors include reading, time with nature, working outside in my tractor (it’s super quiet and soothing), getting enough sleep, waking 1 hour early to prepare for my day, and having some alone time.  I decided to write about my recent adventure in trying a “new” self-care behavior and the challenges I encountered.

What is not included in my typical self-care behaviors is massage.  Lots of people get massages and swear by them as a part of their self-care routine or for managing medical conditions.  Massage is definitely something I enjoy but I don’t consider it a required self-care behavior for me.  I am also the person who doesn’t make the time for massages consistently.  So far, I’ve had two this year, which is better than most years!  My most recent massage occurred over the past couple weeks as I had a gift card that needed to be used (my husband gave it to me for Christmas in 2018).

One of the things we often do not discuss about self-care behaviors is how awkward we can feel when first trying something that is new. During my massage experience, I kept thinking about how my reactions, both positive and negative, would make for a great blog post about the more awkward side of self-care. Here is what was happening in my head:

• I felt super out of place!!!!! I was at a local spa/salon which was very zen and relaxing. I had no idea what to do, where to go, what a steam shower was, etc.  Luckily, there were people to help me.  I also had never had this type of massage before so had no idea what I was getting myself into.
• Steam showers are amazing! If I ever get to remodel my bathroom at home, I want to have a steam shower sooooo bad.  It was probably the highlight of the entire experience.  Note: steam showers are like a regular shower with steam, so no need to shower at home before going to the spa.
• It was really awkward for me to sit in a cozy little room in a robe waiting for my massage. I had no idea what to do!  Was I supposed to grab tea?  Would I even have time to drink it?? I opted for flipping through a local magazine instead while continuing to make sure my robe wasn’t gaping open.
• It’s hard to shut my brain off. The massage itself was great and relaxing.  I really enjoyed it and remembered thinking “I should do this more often!”.  I also had a bazillion other thoughts during the process (including this blog).  My to-do list always tends to be on the greatest hits album in my mind when I have time to be quiet.  Other thoughts were about work, the blog post, prioritizing massages, how my face was starting to hurt, and more existential questions about life.  I definitely learned I need to be more diligent in my mindfulness practice, so I can better focus my attention in the moment!
• Do I tip??! (I did by the way). This is how frequently I DON’T get massages.  I had no idea what the proper protocol was.
• I’m sure there were many more insights which occurred but these were the ones I remembered most today when I sat down to finally write about my experience.

My takeaways:

• Trying new ways of engaging in self-care can be awkward.
• No one else notices you are feeling awkward.
• Awkward doesn’t mean bad.
• Listen to your gut and do what feels good regarding self-care (and life in general).
• I need to focus on a more consistent mindfulness practice
• Don’t let fear stand in the way of relaxation.
• I need to get massages more than two times per year ?.
• I need a steam shower in my home someday!

I encourage all of you to try one new self-care behavior for yourself at some point during the next month!  I would love to hear about your experiences in the comments below.