The Spoon Theory

How many spoons do you have?  How many spoons do you use on things that aren’t important to you?  I’m not talking about actual spoons (obviously).  I’m talking about time and energy.  When I work with people who struggle with chronic pain or illnesses, I always give them a handout on The Spoon Theory (link: https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/).  This is a wonderful story written by a woman who struggles with lupus and she accurately portrays what it’s like to live with a chronic illness including the choices you have to make that “normal” people don’t think about.  Over the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about how the spoon theory actually pertains to most of us.  We tend to spend our time and energy “getting things done” and end our days feeling exhausted.  Our weekends and evenings become periods of time where we zone out in front of electronics instead of doing the things that bring us joy/peace/excitement/contentment because we spent all our spoons a long time ago!  I joke with people frequently about how if I develop chronic pain, I definitely won’t spend any spoons on cleaning my house because I absolutely detest cleaning.  As it turns out, why do I have to wait until I have chronic pain to stop using my spoons to clean?  Not that my house is super dirty, and I can’t clean when needed, but if I only have a few hours in my week for self-care I am NOT going to recharge by cleaning my whole house.  I have been trying to be more mindful of where I’m spending my spoons and where I can save spoons for things that are more important to me.  Here is what I’ve come up with:

Save spoons (not important tasks to me):  Not washing every single load of laundry on Sunday, letting dishes pile up in the sink for a night or 2 or 3….. (pic included to prove it!), spreading to-do list items out over a few days instead of doing it all at once, allowing my husband to cook supper.

Use spoons (tasks that improve my life): Spending time with family, reading a book, mowing the lawn (I love doing this), having lunch with a friend, yoga/exercise.

My spoons are different than your spoons, where I choose to spend my spoons isn’t “good” or “bad” it’s different.  What works for me may not work for you and that’s ok.  I strongly encourage you to take some time over the next week to think about the activities that help you re-charge versus the activities that deplete you.  Use what you come up with to decide if you are spending your spoons as wisely as you can be.  I would love to hear what you do to save spoons/use spoons in the comments below!